Brain Drain

I had one of those moments today. I won’t call it a “senior” moment as I just hit that stage of life that used to be called “over the hill” before 50 became the new measuring stick. I am sure everyone has had them but, of course, that didn’t make me feel any less ignorant.

I took the two kids to the grocery store with me. My wife left me a list, appropriate store discount card and various coupons. Not to mention, she has trained my daughter on the proper way to navigate the store and shop. She had almost fool-proofed the plan. To start, we did great. We only had to backtrack to one aisle. We picked the checkout line with the shortest wait time. The bagger was friendly and engaged in conversation with Cam. I even picked the actual products associated with coupons. So where did I go wrong you ask? It was when the cashier gave me our total and I reached into my coat pocket to find nothing but air that my moment of ineptitude was realized. No wallet. It’s a big coat so I checked several pockets, much to the chagrin of the lady in line behind me. My hands found nothing but the grocery list and some tissues. I had officially forgotten to bring any form of payment. Disappointment tinged with a hint of annoyance flashed across the cashier’s face. She quickly glanced to the bagger for help in how to dispatch of the obvious moron in front of her. I took action by stating the obvious.
“I forgot my wallet.” My tone was soft and sheepish. The cashier opened her mouth but nothing but disbelief came from it. I spoke again.
“I only live five minutes from here. Can I run home and get it and come back?” My only other option was to barter one of the children but both are probably worth more than the $47 bill so I nixed that idea.
Fortunately, the person who bagged my groceries was also the store manager. She came to the quick decision that they could put my bagged items by the customer service desk and we could ring them through again when I came back. Her main concern was that my ice cream could melt before my return (if only that was the extent of my troubles).

I find myself having similar lapses in judgement when continuing my personal education with my son’s condition. I’ve been guilty of eating a sandwich (on regular wheat) and then grabbing his sports drink and taking a sip. After an eye roll, he grabs another drink out of the fridge. I’ve also made his lunch in the morning and cross-contaminated his food by forgetting a hand wash after my breakfast. After an eye roll, my wife takes over and packs the rest. (Yes, they have the same eye roll.) It’s a hard transition to learn and remember all of these nuances but I remind myself that these “moments” are ultimately harmful to him. This thought process keeps me on my toes and will hopefully get easier over time. I’ve heard that it does so that’s a good thing as he definitely is worth more to me than $47.

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